what keeps you awake?

I would say that I had no idea why I couldn't fall asleep last night, but I think I can put my finger right on it: dreams.  No, of course not the ones that you get when you sleep (err, duh), but the other kind.  You know, the ones that make you think of one thing, then 5 seconds later, you're onto thinking about the next and then the next and the next, and so on ... in my case, for 6 hours.  Yup, 6 hours of just laying there, tossing back and forth, trying to turn my brain off.  I counted backwards from 100 like, three times.  And then I tried the weirdest trick that always works for me: thinking of the craziest, most random things and making a story out of whatever came to mind.  Weird, huh?  It;s okay, I won't turn you off with any crazy examples. :)

Anyway, you know that I love a good DIY.  I've always found peace in having a creative outlet, whether that was with scrapbooking, photography, attempting at making suede moccasins (hey. don't hate. I made Keziah 2 really cute pair!), fabric buntings, etc.  I get all gung-ho and then tomorrow it's the next thing.  Since going from hey, I'm going to stay at home full-time with K, to Okay, maybe I'll work two days a week to get some time out of the house and because I know that staying home full-time will be in my near future (Lord-willing), I can't help but think of something that will allow me to have my time and something I can identify in.  I absolutely love being a mother.  That is my identity now, but I know that it doesn't have to be my only.  I feel like maybe I could make my creative outlet and wanna-be identity have a gorgeous little baby and it'll blossom into something big.  Not big like "I don't have time to watch Keziah now!" big, but more like "this is the perfect balance and I'm happy!" kind of big.  I feel like maybe I'm restless and searching for it, and it's right under my nose.  

All of that to say, I am planning on showing you all something that I want to work on soon.  I'm thinking of maybe an Etsy shop with some randoms ... but specific kind of randoms.  :)  

What keeps you awake at night, mama?  

DIY: ribbon backdrop

Good afternoon, friends!  As some of you know, little Miss Keziah was battling something weird yesterday, and it seems as though today she's a little extra tired.  I figured that since she's taking a long, recovery nap that I'd show you a little DIY that I did for her birthday party.   

I was on the hunt for something to cover our sage green dining room walls (that I thought didn't match well with her birthday theme) that could double as a backdrop for when she did her first cake smash ... which should actually be called a cake poke.  Anyway, while researching, I found the cutest ribbon backdrop and I figured that I could try the same!  After it was finished, I realized that I could also use it as a photobooth-ish backdrop.  Because we kept her party rather small, I wanted to be able to get a photo of Keziah with each guest to put in her baby book.  Turned out great!!  

Because I don't have the need for another backdrop, I'm going to just give an illustration, using the one that I originally made.

So, let's get started!

You'll need:

spools of coordinating ribbon (I think I probably purchased roughly 30-40 spools)

a rope cord

hot glue gun

Before getting started, plan out how long and how wide you'd like your backdrop.  I only needed mine to be about 6 feet wide and 4 feet long.  Cut your rope cord accordingly.  For the ribbon:  I did a little bit of basic math and figured how many feet were on each spool and planned the best way to get the most out of the spools.  Depending on the type of ribbon you're using, you should be able to get about 3-6 strips from each. Try to get the ribbon roughly the same length, but you'll notice in the end that a less perfect bottom looks better.  :)

Step 1: Lay out your rope cord and arrange the ribbon in the order that you'd like to see it hung.

Step 2: Grab each strip and put a bit of hot glue on one end and fold over the rope cord.  Be sure to leave enough room to slide the ribbon down the rope cord.  Also be sure that you're facing each strip of material the same way and folding the strip the same way each time.

Step 3: Continue adding more and more ribbon!  Don't worry about using too much; in the end, you'll just be scrunching it all together anyway.

Step 4: Slide the strips together to make room for more!

Step 5: Once all of your strips are glued and scrunched together, tie a knot at the end of your rope cord to prevent your strips from sliding off.

 Step 6: Hang, ooo and aahhh! ;) Notice that all of my strips aren't the same length.  Doesn't look bad to me! :)

banana crumb muffins for my muffins

Good morning and Happy Valentine's Day! If you're like me and your big Valentine is at work this morning, you've got the itchin' to show a little extra love to your little Valentine.
I whipped up some of the most scrumptious banana crumb muffins this morning and I know you're going to love them!  Keziah tore. them. up. Oh, and odds are, you've already got these ingredients hanging out, waiting to be used! Let me know what you think!! Enjoy!

prep: 15 minutes
cook: 20 minutes
enjoy: 15 minutes

recipe:
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
3 bananas, mashed
3/4 cup white sugar
1 egg, slightly beaten
1 tbsp butter, melted
crumb topping
1/3 cup packed brown sugar
1/8 tsp ground cinnamon
2 tbsp all-purpose flour
1 tbsp butter

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees.  Lightly grease 10 muffin cups or line with muffin liners.
2. In a large bowl, mix together flour, baking soda, and salt.  In another bowl, beat together bananas, sugar, egg, and 1 tbsp melted butter.  Stir the wet ingredients with the dry.  Spoon batter into muffin cups. (***batter may seem a little thick; this is okay!)
3. In a small bowl, mix together brown sugar, 2 tbsp of flour, and cinnamon.  Cut in 1 tbsp of butter until mixture looks like coarse cornmeal.  Sprinkle over your (soon-to-be, stud) muffins. Ha!
4. Wait patiently while these puppies cook for 18-20 minutes and your toothpick comes out clean!

The Naptime Ninja + Natural Cleaning Solutions

You can go ahead and call me the Naptime Ninja ... well 70% of the time, anyway.  Now that Keziah is sleeping pretty decently, I don't feel the need to take a cat nap while she has her (3-hour!) nap.  When I lay her in her crib, the clock starts tickin' and boy, does it tick quickly!  That's the time that I am able to get everything done without feeling like I'm neglecting her.  Today, for example, I did my normal floor routine: sweep, vacuum, mop ... and when I say mop, I mean the good, old school hands and knees kind of cleaning.  I've given up on the steam mop, the swiffer, the traditional mop.  There's only one way to do it for me.  I get so tired of seeing Keziah's white socks turn brown after hanging out on the floors for 20 minutes.  And not to mention the germs and dirt (and dog hair!) that is all over her knees and hands.
After cleaning the floors, I cleaned the kitchen (fridge, de-odorized the garbage disposal), the doors on the first level of our house, the baseboards, the sliding door track, organized all of Keziah's toys, and did loads and loads of laundry.  And that was all within the 2-hour nap she took (I got jipped today).

I thought that some of you mamas might appreciate if I shared a few, good ol' natural home cleaners that I swear by.  I get so nervous thinking about Keziah getting into lysol, bleach, etc., or even her crawling on the floors after being cleaned with harsh chemicals.  I've tried it all.  Trust me.  I am insane when it comes to getting and keeping my floors clean.  We've got hardwood and tile and this stuff works amazingly on both surfaces.  Plus, you've already got these ingredients in your home, I am sure of it!  Here's what you do for sparkly clean, chemical-free floors: Fill a 2-gallon bucket with hot water + 1/4 cup white vinegar + 1/4 cup baking soda + 1 tbsp of dish soap + a few drops of an essential oil for a nice scent (I used lavender).  Scrub away!  Your floors will sparkle!  I'll usually pour the bucket out and start over once switching rooms because I want to make sure I'm not transferring dirt all around.  :)

Now, for an all-around cleaner, I've got you covered there, too!  I'm talking shower, toilet, counters, stove, and everything in between!  Here's what you'll do for that: 1 part vinegar + 1 part dish soap + a few drops of essential oil > you'll want to heat it in the microwave for about 15-30 seconds just to get the vinegar and dish soap all warmed up and lovin' on each other + shake it all up and store it in a spray bottle.  You'll never have to warm it again because the two will not separate.  They're madly in love at this point.
You can just spray, let is settle in for a couple minutes and scrub.  All of your grime, mold, residue is gone.  :)

And last but not least, I know I'm not the only one that is disgusted by a stinky garbage disposal and somehow, I can promise mine is smellier than yours.  I don't de-odorize mine as often as I should.  I just complain to my Husband that it's broken!  It has to be!  There's no way that this thing is supposed to smell this bad! When I was pregnant, I literally gagged every time I had to wash the dishes.  I have learned to breathe through my nose since then ... it's a habit that I can't break, but one I'm sure is good for me!  Sidenote: I only clean with unscented dish soap now because I've become scarred by one bad batch of dishes + Gain-scented dish soap. or pomegranate-scented.  or citrus-scented.  You get the point.  I've ruined it for all scents ever created.  I just have to use unscented now.  Plus, it's not like your plates and silverware actually smell good in the end, right? ;)  To help out with the stanky, stank, pour 1/2 cup baking soda + 1/2 cup vinegar + yup, you guessed it, a few drop of essential oil into the garbage disposal drain and let it sit for one hour.  Then drown that puppy out with hot water for a minute or two with the disposal running.

Happy cleaning, mamas!! :)

First Birthday + Details

Good afternoon, friends!  Tuesday was my Princess' first birthday!!!  It's nap time now, so I've got a little bit of time to share of photos of her birthday party, which was on Sunday.  We kept the celebration on the smaller side since our home isn't large enough to invite all of the people Keziah wanted to invite (the girl's got lots of friends, what can I say?).  Okay, that last statement was pure sarcasm, though I wish it were true.  This mama's gotta work on getting out of the house more and visiting more mama friends.  Now, where were we ... oh, Keziah's party!

Now, I'm a very frugal person when it comes to certain things.  When I say certain things, I mean the things that I know I can DIY and totally rock it.  When I spotted a rustic, winter wonderland party on Pinterest, I literally cried.  I had to have it.  The only problem being that I am not a gazillionaire like it looked like that other mama was, so I knew that I'd have to cut corners, plus, there was no way my husband would allow me to repaint our walls, have linens and tables and chairs rented, etc. And hey, I don't blame him!  :)

Here are some photos that I was able to snag before our guests showed up, and all the decorations weren't in "perfect" order, and my makeup wasn't sweated off. Ha!

Here is a list of the shops/websites that we used for her big day.  Now, I researched and researched to pinch every penny that I could.  If you can find the following items cheaper, I won't believe ya'! ;)  

Birthday Invites: DIY

Chalkboard Stats Board:  DIY

Lace Mason Jars: DIY

Wooden + Glitter Tree: Target Clearance the day after Christmas 

Bottle Brush Trees: Love it Shabby on Etsy 

First Birthday Crown: Little Blue Olive on Etsy

Catering: Portillo's/Barnelli's and Cheesecake Factory (Super Bowl was the same day means appetizers are a must!

Table Runner + Food Place Cards: DIY

Sparkle Branches: Blooms and Branches

Flowers: the absolute sweetest people from Floral Acres

Keziah's Birthday Cake: DIY (and a little help from Wilton + Betty Crocker!) ;)

Cake + Cupcake Toppers: DIY (Washi Tape from Shop Sweet Lulu)

Ribbon Backdrop: DIY

Keziah's Birthday Dress: Auto Alive on Etsy 

Oh!  And since Keziah didn't want a taste of the (second!) cake that mama slaved over, I'll share a taste with you!  

Am I a bad mama for showing her how to push her hand in the cake?  Maybe.  Was I slightly offended that she wanted nothing to do with this cake? Absolutely.  Did the cake go to waste?  Definitely not.  

weekly meal planning

In order to help our family to stay accountable with healthy eating, I've created this printable that I have framed and am planning to reuse every week.  It's in a cute ombre pink color because, of course, it will most definitely help to make this more fun! ;)  If you'd like your own, I've made the document share-able (is that a word?) so that you can use it for your weekly planning!

"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

You can find the document here.

Happy planning, mamas!

Happy 9 months!

My sweet girl is 9 months old today!  How on earth did it happen so quickly?  This is one of those big milestone ages that makes you really, really sad!  I was going through some of Keziah's clothes for a friend yesterday and as I picked up each newborn size, more and more tears filled my eyes.  Goodness, what am I going to do when she turns 1? Ah!

Anyway, this month, Keziah has begun crawling, walking along furniture, has 0 new teeth (last month stole the show in that department!), says "mama," "dada," and attempts to say doggy but sounds more like "da."  She sleeps a perfect 10.5 hour stretch at night before going back down for 2-3 hours more (this is great!).  Her smile is starting to get bigger, with more of a wrinkle in her nose and more teeth to show off.

And check out the headband I made for this month! Pretty sweet, huh? ;) I thought this was perfect for November!  Wait until you see what I have up my sleeve for Thanksgiving! ;)

First sickness

I never knew how moms did it: dealt with sick babies. Not that I was afraid of not being able to handle it, but that I wouldn't know what to do.  Keziah started getting a fever the other day. Was at 101.8 to be exact and I was definitely nervous. I'm the kind of person that always fears the worst, so my mind just goes all kinds of crazy directions. I sought some advice from other mamas and pretty much learned to just let it run its course (unless it gets above 103). So, I didn't want to interrupt her immune system's defense mechanism, so I let it ride. The next day she was normal again ...

Or so I thought.  Daddy brought home some kind of virus/cold and looks like it's getting the best of Keziah. Earlier today, she seemed a little off and sleeping more/longer than usual, so I was praying nothing would come of it. But after her (second!) nap today, she woke up with a nasty cough. Poor baby. Looks like she couldn't escape it. And here I thought breast fed babies were nearly invincible.  I'm just going to plug away at the vitamin C and hope that some of it transfers through to the milk and helps her out. I also read that elderberry works wonders, too so I'll have to go find some of that!!

God has blessed with me a superhuman immune system and now that I'm a mom and a Wife to another baby (shh!), I'm learning that it's definitely a blessing! Someone's gotta be well enough to care of the crew, right? ;)

I mean, look at this sad-looking Princess ... makes me sad.

weight struggles

I am so excited to blog tonight because I'm blogging from a brand new (to us), beautifully painted and stained, grown up computer desk!  A few months back, I scored a huge, solid wood desk for free off of a garage sale group on Facebook and Josh and I finally had time to redo it.  It's gorgeous and I'll show it to you some time soon ... hopefully tomorrow!! :)

I don't think I've ever blogged about it.  You know, that big, fat, ugly topic that all women hate to discuss, yet love to cry and complain about.  Yup, our weight.  Weight has always been a big struggle for me.  Not that I've always had lots of weight to lose, but I've been conscience about it for quite a while.  I've pretty much tried it all: Weight Watchers (lost 10 pounds in 3 months), watching calories (lost nothing), Paleo (lost 30 pounds in 5 months), and most recently, Trim Healthy Mama (lost 6 pounds in 2 weeks).  I stuck with Paleo the longest and thought it was very, very restrictive, it was definitely my favorite.  I felt my best, looked my best, and then BAM!!! I got pregnant ... my hormones, morning sickness, cravings, and bodily changes all got the best (err worst?) of me.  I gained each of those 30 pounds + 7 by the end of my pregnancy and guess what?  I haven't lost anything since!  Sure, I have maybe lost the 7 pounds, 2 ounces plus a tad bit of water weight since having Keziah, but not an ounce more.  I've been blaming it on the breast feeding (and I honestly do feel like that plays a big part in it), but I am pretty sure there's more to the picture than that (like, maybe the fact that my stomach is a bottomless pit and Josh has to keep up with me when it comes to eating).  I've gone back and forth with Oh, I'm going to do Paleo again or Trim Healthy Mama is best, but I think I've just finally had enough.  Josh and I want to start thinking about baby #2 very soon and I just cannot imagine gaining all of that weight again ON TOP of what I already have.  For me, that's just unacceptable, especially when I can't say that I've given it my 100% in trying.

Tomorrow, I am going to begin a 30-day "cleanse," if you will.  Pretty much just strict eating to detox my body and see how I feel.  I'm pretty sure that I'll feel awesome and want to give it another 30 days.  Anyone can do anything for 30 days, right?  That's where I always get messed up; thinking yes, let's do it for 1 year (like I swore to with Paleo)!!! Then I just feel all kinds of overwhelmed and like I've already failed when I didn't even give it a week!!

 I'll keep you updated on how things go, because this has to get done before trying for another baby.  It just has to.   

Compromises

Growing up, we always made Halloween a big deal; spooky decorations, fun costumes, lots of candy, the whole bit. I remember one Halloween, my family was struggling and my mom couldn't afford to buy us costumes, so my kindergarten teacher let us borrow one so that I wouldn't feel left out (that year, I was a bumble bee).  We always looked forward to Halloween and trick or treating and coming home and weighing our candy on the scale to see how much we actually got.  

The same "holiday" that I was celebrating excitedly, my Husband who was a wee little guy at the time was probably doing something totally different. A time or two, he went to a Fall festival at church where he played innocent games, played with friends, and enjoyed candy. His family never handed out candy, never dressed in costumes, never decorated for Halloween.  He was raised completely different than I was. 

Before Josh and I were even married, we did discuss how holidays would be celebrated; I celebrated Santa, he didn't; I celebrated Easter bunnies, he didn't. You get my point. We had lots of small compromises to make. Not that I ever believed in Santa or the Easter bunny or even the tooth fairy, there was excitement and joy in those things. Now that I'm a Believer, I actually am saddened that I ever celebrated the secular version of holidays ... not the actual meaning. However, every time we discussed Halloween, I was stubborn and didn't want to give it all up. I wanted Keziah to experience the excitement that I did when I got to dress up and go trick or treating. Even when I was a kid, I always dreamt about taking my kids trick or treating. But here we are, married, and we now have a family.  One thing that I'm learning every single day is that marriage is about compromise. 

So, what have we agreed on? Well, no Halloween.  Halloween is a day to celebrate evil, death, fear, etc. I don't mean to sound like a fundamental extremist here (I'm not, really), but this is how we've discussed it. This day is a day that the enemy is pleased in. When you get down to the bones of it all, this day is centered around fear. God did not place the spirit of fear in His beings. So why do we find joy and excitement in being afraid?  Sure, dressing a baby in a fluffy sheep costume is the cutest, sweetest, most yummy thing ever (trust me, this is what I wanted to do!), but the enemy is all about sugar-coating things and making them seem acceptable and since everyone is doing it, there couldn't be any harm in it, right? Well, that's what he'd like us to believe.  

I guess it just makes me a bit sad to think that our kids won't have the experience of dressing up and going out and I'm sure they'll have friends that are going out and doing it. BUT Josh pointed out that right now, if we "celebrated" Halloween, it'd be for me, not Keziah. Keziah doesn't know any different and she never will as long as she's raised without it. We will definitely start our own little traditions and have fun and make memories with our family, but just not the traditional way. :)  Plus, there are 364 other days of the year to dress up as the cutest, sweetest, most yummy things ever!!  I told Josh just expect to be the kind of dad that comes home from work and our kids are running around the house wearing crazy, silly costumes just because. And you better believe I'm going to be the kind of mom to let our kid wear her tutu, lion mask, rain boots, and gloves in the heat of Summer to run to the grocery store because that's what she wanted to wear. Okay, maybe, maybe not! Haha!! But the point is that he'll see more costumes every other day of the year than he'll know what to do with!! :) 

This means that tomorrow I'll be running to a few stores to see if I can find a yummy sheep costume to stick Keziah in so that mama can get her fix. ;) 

my job as a mom

Apparently, I actually do have some readers on this ol' blog.  They (well, you!) are ghost readers, and that's okay!  But, it's nice to know that people read and I'm not writing "just because."  I am the kind of person that finds joy in writing when I know others are going through the same thing, inspired, laughing, crying with me.  If you're reading, introduce yourself!! I love making new friends through social media! :)

Anyway, Keziah has her very first fever.  Breaks my heart.  She is still her laughing, smiley, giggly self ... just a very warm version!  As I was putting her to sleep tonight, rubbing her back, I got so teary-eyed!  I was thinking that when she's an older women, Lord willing, she will be holding one of her own littles, rubbing their back, comforting them as they are fighting sleep.  She will be worrying whether or not she's doing a good enough job, praying over them, asking and seeking guidance to be the best mother and wife that she can be.  One day, I'll be gone and all I can hope and pray for now is that I am investing and instilling the best that I can.  Every day I pray that God will keep her in the palm of His hand, guiding her along, and that one day she will seek Him with all of her heart and soul.  If she does that, well, my job as her mother has been successful.  God has used me for His glory.

Sorry to get all sappy on you, but my heart is heavy for her this evening.

Now that we have Keziah sleep-trained, I think I will be better about writing on here!  I don't mean to leave you all hanging for so many weeks!

Sell it all!

I have a little problem.  A "sell all of the things" problem.  Ever since I can remember, I've gone through little phases where I am so much in love with a certain "hobby" that I want to turn it into something much bigger. Scrapbooking? Yeah, I'll have others pay me to do theirs! 
Photography? Well, that actually turned into something, but wasn't long-living because quite honestly, I hate (hate!) editing and going through each. and. every. photo.  I'd rather just photograph Keziah and be good at it.  Maybe one day I'll return to it with a new fire and passion, but for now, Keziah is my #1 subject. Headbands? I could be sooo good at this! It's fun! 
And now .... are you ready for it? Buntings!  Cake buntings!  Cupcake toppers!  I've even gone one step further this time: I'VE OPENED AN ETSY SHOP! Okay, maybe buntings aren't in huge demand, but hey, someone buys them, right?  Psh, I know if I had it my way, I'd have buntings for every room (including the bathroom) because they are just so darn cute and make you happy!  But see, here's what I've been thinking:  I will list the buntings and cake toppers that I've already made, but in the future, I'll just continue to add small things to the shop that I've done for Keziah and actually enjoyed doing.  If no one buys anything, at least I had fun and used it as my creative outlet!  This bunting love was fueled by needing one for her room and I loooved making it, so I made 8 more (what?!).  I've made headbands for Keziah and get asked "where'd you buy that?" Now I can tell them, My Etsy shop, duh. And I've got a big, ol', fat new project turning in my head and I pray, pray, pray it turns out the way I'm hoping (hint: has to do with leather and baby feet!).  If it turns out, I'll post something on here (maybe even a tutorial) ... but if it is a complete fail, we'll just move on and act like it never happened! ;)

My dream isn't to be the best shop on Etsy ... even if I only have 1 item sell, I wouldn't care ... these hands just need something creative to do.  Mama doesn't like being bored!

The big move: Follow up

As you know, we just moved Keziah to her crib.  We loved having her with us in our room but she needed the space.  I would have loved to keep her with us, but she woke up often (every 2-4 hours) stretching her legs, passing gas (ha!), and just wanting to move around.  I told you about how our first night went, so just thought I'd follow up!

Night 2: I laid her down, again with no tears to be seen.  Great!!  Makes mama feel better about the whole transition.  When I laid her down, she woke up, rolled around for about 45 minutes and went to sleep.  No fussing, no tears (did I say that already?).  She slept for 8 hours straight.  I had to wake her to feed her so that I could get ready for work smoothly (usually I wake her to feed her and put her back to sleep so that I can get ready for work without having to entertain her and then I wake her 30 minutes before we leave so that I can feed her again and get her ready).  Perfect night.

Night 3: Again, I laid her down, no fussing at all.  She rolled around for a bit and went to sleep.  However, she woke up at 12 and then again at 4:30.  When I went in to get her, her poor feet and legs were so cold!  I put her to sleep in a onsie because I am more worried about her overheating.  We had the vent fan running instead of the central air since it was so nice out.  When I fed her (I'm sure I could have cut this feeding, but I didn't/don't have a problem nursing for comfort), I threw some pants on her and shut her vent.  When she woke up at 4:30, I fed her again and because she was cold, I should have brought her in our room ... changing her whole outfit at this point would have made her upset and I was worried of her falling off her changing table since she was so worked up.  Bad, rookie mom moment ...

Night 4/Last night:  I tried rocking her to sleep (well, to put her on the drowsy side) but she kept jerking her body and acting frustrated, so I thought maybe she wanted to just be left alone.  I laid her down, she rolled around (seeing a common theme here?) and she went to sleep.  This time, she slept for 8 hours straight.  Again, I woke up her to feed her since I had work today.  I am curious to see how long she will sleep without waking, but this morning wasn't the best time to try that because my luck, she would have woken up while I was in the shower and I would have had to run to her with dripping hair, cold body, mascara running down my face ... Just better that I woke her! haha!

I think that moving her was a great, big, scary move for me, but she really wanted it!! :)

Keziah and Big Jake

When Keziah was only a few weeks old, I knew I wanted to do something to capture her growth progression.  I searched Pinterest and the cutest/easiest one that I found was photographing the baby in the same chair each month.  I added a little extra and threw in Big Jake, too.  Big Jake is Daddy's old childhood teddy.  Daddy won't let me dress BJ as a girl or change his name.  Oy vey.  I guess a boy will have to do.

Here's what I've got 1-6 months. :)

Okay, maybe I cried while reviewing this post.  I'm too emotional for my own good.  Keziah is going to have a hard time running off and getting married.