Compromises

Growing up, we always made Halloween a big deal; spooky decorations, fun costumes, lots of candy, the whole bit. I remember one Halloween, my family was struggling and my mom couldn't afford to buy us costumes, so my kindergarten teacher let us borrow one so that I wouldn't feel left out (that year, I was a bumble bee).  We always looked forward to Halloween and trick or treating and coming home and weighing our candy on the scale to see how much we actually got.  

The same "holiday" that I was celebrating excitedly, my Husband who was a wee little guy at the time was probably doing something totally different. A time or two, he went to a Fall festival at church where he played innocent games, played with friends, and enjoyed candy. His family never handed out candy, never dressed in costumes, never decorated for Halloween.  He was raised completely different than I was. 

Before Josh and I were even married, we did discuss how holidays would be celebrated; I celebrated Santa, he didn't; I celebrated Easter bunnies, he didn't. You get my point. We had lots of small compromises to make. Not that I ever believed in Santa or the Easter bunny or even the tooth fairy, there was excitement and joy in those things. Now that I'm a Believer, I actually am saddened that I ever celebrated the secular version of holidays ... not the actual meaning. However, every time we discussed Halloween, I was stubborn and didn't want to give it all up. I wanted Keziah to experience the excitement that I did when I got to dress up and go trick or treating. Even when I was a kid, I always dreamt about taking my kids trick or treating. But here we are, married, and we now have a family.  One thing that I'm learning every single day is that marriage is about compromise. 

So, what have we agreed on? Well, no Halloween.  Halloween is a day to celebrate evil, death, fear, etc. I don't mean to sound like a fundamental extremist here (I'm not, really), but this is how we've discussed it. This day is a day that the enemy is pleased in. When you get down to the bones of it all, this day is centered around fear. God did not place the spirit of fear in His beings. So why do we find joy and excitement in being afraid?  Sure, dressing a baby in a fluffy sheep costume is the cutest, sweetest, most yummy thing ever (trust me, this is what I wanted to do!), but the enemy is all about sugar-coating things and making them seem acceptable and since everyone is doing it, there couldn't be any harm in it, right? Well, that's what he'd like us to believe.  

I guess it just makes me a bit sad to think that our kids won't have the experience of dressing up and going out and I'm sure they'll have friends that are going out and doing it. BUT Josh pointed out that right now, if we "celebrated" Halloween, it'd be for me, not Keziah. Keziah doesn't know any different and she never will as long as she's raised without it. We will definitely start our own little traditions and have fun and make memories with our family, but just not the traditional way. :)  Plus, there are 364 other days of the year to dress up as the cutest, sweetest, most yummy things ever!!  I told Josh just expect to be the kind of dad that comes home from work and our kids are running around the house wearing crazy, silly costumes just because. And you better believe I'm going to be the kind of mom to let our kid wear her tutu, lion mask, rain boots, and gloves in the heat of Summer to run to the grocery store because that's what she wanted to wear. Okay, maybe, maybe not! Haha!! But the point is that he'll see more costumes every other day of the year than he'll know what to do with!! :) 

This means that tomorrow I'll be running to a few stores to see if I can find a yummy sheep costume to stick Keziah in so that mama can get her fix. ;) 

my job as a mom

Apparently, I actually do have some readers on this ol' blog.  They (well, you!) are ghost readers, and that's okay!  But, it's nice to know that people read and I'm not writing "just because."  I am the kind of person that finds joy in writing when I know others are going through the same thing, inspired, laughing, crying with me.  If you're reading, introduce yourself!! I love making new friends through social media! :)

Anyway, Keziah has her very first fever.  Breaks my heart.  She is still her laughing, smiley, giggly self ... just a very warm version!  As I was putting her to sleep tonight, rubbing her back, I got so teary-eyed!  I was thinking that when she's an older women, Lord willing, she will be holding one of her own littles, rubbing their back, comforting them as they are fighting sleep.  She will be worrying whether or not she's doing a good enough job, praying over them, asking and seeking guidance to be the best mother and wife that she can be.  One day, I'll be gone and all I can hope and pray for now is that I am investing and instilling the best that I can.  Every day I pray that God will keep her in the palm of His hand, guiding her along, and that one day she will seek Him with all of her heart and soul.  If she does that, well, my job as her mother has been successful.  God has used me for His glory.

Sorry to get all sappy on you, but my heart is heavy for her this evening.

Now that we have Keziah sleep-trained, I think I will be better about writing on here!  I don't mean to leave you all hanging for so many weeks!