35 weeks

Yeah, you can go ahead and ignore the last date on my blog.  That, by no means, is true.  At all.  Blogger had hiccups recently, right? ;)

Well, here I am at 35 weeks.  Much of a difference from 31?  I honestly just feel like I am bloated; I don't even feel pregnant.  I am sure that once baby girl arrives, I will look back at these pictures and see exactly how big I actually am.  Or how big I choose to admit.

How have I been feeling?  Other than the occasional (and pretty bad) indigestion, pretty bad pelvic pain, and horrible hip pain while sleeping, I have no other complaints.  I don't feel like she's "going to fall out" like  I've heard many others describe.  I don't have any other complaints.  If this is as "bad" as it gets, this has been an awesome, smooth, ideal pregnancy (with the exception of the weight gain).  I know that my weight gain is within healthy range, and I sound vain when I express concern, but it's my heart.  I am just being real.  I have my last bi-weekly doctor's appointment tomorrow, then I'm graduating to weekly (which means cervix checks, which means she'll be here so, very soon!).
Last night, I had 3 different dreams about her coming now.  I thought it'd be awesome if she came now, but the way I felt in those dreams proved me to be wrong.  I was freaking out because she was too early.  I am just getting soooo eager to see her, hold her, smell her, and just cuddle up 24/7 with her.  I want to see how daddy will be with her and just be googley-eyed over how cute they are.  :)  But, for her safety, I think I can wait at least 2 more weeks; then I'll have her for a lifetime. :)

On another note, I'm still trying to get ready for her.  My hospital bag needs to be packed; I hope to have that done by next weekend.  Daddy still has to put together the dresser (which I've been asking him about for the last month!).  We are still waiting for little things to be purchased.  But, that will all happen in due time and even when it does, I'll still feel unprepared.  Whatever.  :)

I guess it's off to begin wrangling up things to toss into that hospital bag that awaits me! :)

A side you didn't know

I don't think I've ever mentioned it on this blog, but I'm also a photographer.  By all means, not a successful, magazine-worthy, confident photographer, either.  I'm the kind of photographer that gets lazy and doesn't take things to my fullest potential.  The kind of photographer that, every once in a while, gets a fire under her butt and wants to put all that she is into making it work.  I'll admit, I don't pick up my camera every single day.  I could use some more practice.  But, at the end of the day, this is a passion that I have and I want to be able to enjoy it, love it, and be confident enough to say I am a photographer and not wait for someone to chuckle (because yes, I do).
I have been serious about photography for about a good year and a half, but have never put 100% into it.  I want to legitimize myself in all aspects and make it known that I'm not playin' around.  When I got married and moved, I googled 'lifestyle photographers' in my new area and found one who I just loved.  I reached waaay out of my comfort zone, contacted her, and met her and one of her photographer friends at Starbucks.  And, of course, now we are all friends.  We have continued to add more photographer friends to the group and I have learned sooo much from these gals.  The only catch is that, remember, I'm a coward?  An insecure photographer?  They are very supportive and answer any questions that I have, but I still feel like I'm not giving it my all.  I want to, but I think it's fear that's stopping me from diving in.
After the baby, Josh and I decided that I will only work one day a week, so I'm going to be a whole lot more dependent on getting things off the ground.  I just wish that I had the encouragement, the patience, and the guts to give it my all!  Josh can only be my cheerleader so much, then I know that I have to pull the old cheerleader out of myself and put her to work.

Anyway, just felt that I needed to vent and be vulnerable for a minute.  In case you're interested, my site is www.leilaninicolephotography.com and I'm on Facebook under the same name as well.  Hopefully you'll be seeing some serious change in it all soon!

31 weeks

I really thought that I would be posting more this week since I have taken the whole week off, but as you can see, that hasn't necessarily been the case.  I have been doing everything around the house and stuck in the so-called nesting mode.  My baby shower was this past Sunday and what a blessing!  We had the shower at a historic home that was totally decked out in Christmas decorations.  It was so beautiful, full of faces I love, happiness, love, and food!  I felt so blessed by everyone's generosity!  After the shower, I was dying to get home and let Josh re-open it all and see it all again.  :)

When Josh returned the work the next day, I opened, organized, and washed everything!  I have never been more excited about laundry in my life!  Folding tiny clothes are so much more fun. :)  I was hoping that perhaps we would have the nursery done by the time I go back to work on Tuesday, but I'm not sure if that is going to happen.  There are a few more things that we need to finish off the room (glider and ottoman, pictures/frames, the bedding, shelves for the walls, and that cute little scentsy elephant) that will really fill it and make it perfect!  :)  

Tonight we are scheduled to go for the maternity center tour and I cannot wait!  It's going to make it feel realer than ever!  That reminds me that I want to have to the birth plan finished, my hospital bag started, and be pre-registered for the hospital before returning to work!  Man, it's all happening so quickly! :)  Can't believe I'll be full-term in 39 days.  Eeep!

Well, I am half way through my 31st week, but obviously I wasn't keeping this blog totally updated.  The only thing I can say has changed is that my body is so. Sore.  My pelvis is feeling achy, my lower back keeps getting a shooting pain (sciatic pain?), my upper back just feels so very tense, and my hips are sorer than ever.  I guess it's just the growing pains!  I can't say that I'm ready for it all to be over with, though!  I am definitely going to miss the big ol' rolls and kicks and hiccups, but I would rather be cuddling her in my arms. I cannot believe that she is 19 inches long and nearly 4 pounds!!  It's so crazy that I feel movements that are at least 10 inches apart (feeling from the outside).  I remember when I was only feeling those tiny little "pops" in the beginning and I would have to be touching the exact spot to feel it on the outside; now, there is definitely no missing it!  Josh and I can have all four hands on my stomach and be feeling something different in each area!  It's really an amazing thing.

30 weeks!

Wooo hooo 30 weeks!!  I cannot believe that I will be waiting for her "any day" in 49 more days!  When I think about it that way, I feel sooo unprepared.  The baby shower will be this coming weekend, so I didn't want to go too crazy purchasing things; I am excited to see what we have left to buy next week!  Josh and I both took the week off, so he promised to have the nursery finished before returning to work.  Let's see how that goes! ;)

I wanted to take the picture below for one other reason: to remind myself that I was actually still going to the gym with Josh while this pregnant.  It really makes me feel good knowing that I have the energy and strength to go.  And honestly, the looks people give are a little bit more of a motivation. :)  Today, a girl (a really fit girl!) at the gym noticed that I needed the 10lb weights (that she had), so he offered them to me and said I was "so cute pregnant."  Thank you, fit girl.  Your compliment pushed me to work harder. :)  

I didn't brave the treadmill today, though.  A few days ago while running on the treadmill, I had a flash of fear rush over me.  Either I peed on myself or my water broke.  I swore by it.  I'm sure that the people around me were wondering why the heck I was running full force and then just jumped off!  Girlfriend needed to run to the bathroom!  Fortunately, it was neither haha!  As soon as I get running (heck, even walking!), baby wants to nestle her head even more into my bladder; definitely makes it much harder!  So, I think I will probably stick to the elliptical and weight-lifting for a couple days.  Give my daughter's rattling brain a break.  

I haven't noticed any changes this week other than my sweet tooth being tamable.  I have been able to "just say no" and satisfy my cravings other ways.  Like a chocolate-covered strawberry, for example. ;)  I'll act like the regular pancakes I make during the weekends didn't have chocolate chips in them today!  No, but really, it has been easier to turn the other cheek to.  

I googled the average weight gain for 30 weeks and it looks like I'm on the lower end of the window.  At least until I get to the Doctor's office and step on their broken scale.  I swear, that thing does not like me.  I've never gone and only seen a 2 pound gain; it's only been 5+!  Oh well, This just means baby is growing healthily and I'm happy for that. :)

My belly button still hasn't popped yet!  I thought it would be by now, judging by how shallow it was a few weeks ago, but it's just becoming more and more shallow.  I don't have that "linea nigra" yet either.  I know that some women never get it.  Bummer.  I want some of those weird pregnancy things happening over here (rather than indigestion and constipation!).

I think I'm at that point now where if people ask me how far along I am, I will give them weeks rather than months.  Technically, you're pregnant for 10 months but people don't think like that, so if I say I'm 7 and a half  months pregnant, they will look at me like I'm crazy.  Yes, I'm sure I'm 7 months pregnant and no, I'm not taking your "compliments" seriously because people know pregnant women are too emotional and are afraid to say to them "hey, fatty, cool it down on the chocolate and carbs!" 

Here's to a bowl of coffee toffee ice cream to celebrate 3/4th of the way done!! ;)

29 weeks (late!)

I know, I know, I've been horrible with the posting.  I promise to step my game up soon! :)

Last Sunday, I hit 29 weeks.  I didn't get a chance to take a picture, but I don't think there was any serious change in the bump.
I remember in the beginning, I was so eager to feel those "big" movements and the rolling around and she's definitely delivered, that's for sure!  I have been feeling large movements, rolls, kicks, thumps, you name it.  It's really exciting to know that she's big enough to do that!  I love sitting back in bed or on the couch and actually seeing one side of my stomach "lumpier" than the other side.  :)  It doesn't seem like the touching bothers her any more, just when I poke.  She used to curl up and hide when I even slightly put a finger on her.
This week I've been thinking more and more about how much of a miracle this is!  It's just so crazy to think that my body (and God!) is making this baby without me having to do anything more than the obvious haha.  It's so amazing to feel and see the changes that are happening to me and my body because a little tiny human being is being made.  And not to mention, a little, tiny human being that is going to look like me and Josh.  Man!  It's just a crazy, crazy thought.  :)  God is truly awesome.
I've noticed that when I sit or stand for long periods of time, the swelling begins to happen ever so slightly.  Nothing that causes discomfort, just something I've noticed.  Yesterday Josh and I walked around the mall and by the time that we were leaving, I definitely had the pregnant girl waddle.  Her head was perfectly positioned on my bladder, causing me to have to pee every 20 minutes or so.  My feet felt like they wanted to bust out of my shoes.  My lower back was hurting.  My purse was too heavy for my right shoulder.  Yup, I was done-zo.  I just wanted to get home and eat some ice cream! :)

I'm going to post a non-weekly post soon because Josh and I are going to set up our Christmas decorations later today.  I am sooo looking forward to it!  I'll even be able to introduce you to Gingrich if he decides to stop by! ;)

Ahhh!!  I'll be 30 weeks tomorrow!!!  That means I'll be full-term in 7 short weeks!

3d ultrasound at 28 weeks

As I mentioned in last week's post, we were scheduled to see our little girl via 3d ultrasound.  I was a little upset because we didn't get very good pictures.  I was under the impression that you had to drink massive amounts of water like with other ultrasounds, but they said that I wouldn't have to drink more than what I would in a normal day.  And before the appointment, the ultrasound guy had me empty my bladder (problems 1 and 2, in my opinion!).
During the ultrasound, baby girl had her head buried in my pelvis and the umbilical cord blocking her face.  After the umbilical cord moved, she moved both of her fists in her face.  We tried everything we could do to see her, but as my mother-in-law said, baby just wasn't ready for us to see her yet.  We would have to wait! Blah.  I also asked the guy if he could give me measurements and tell me how baby was progressing, but he said that this ultrasound was solely for fun and that they wouldn't be doing anything that would require a radiologist's review.  This also confused me because the reason the doctor recommended that we go to our OB office rather than those $50 ultrasound places was because they actually look for abnormalities, make sure baby is progressing like she should, and that all of the information that the radiologist gathered would be further reviewed by others.  She said that the other places, the people that they hire are pretty much "photographers" and not trained to do anything other than put gel on your belly and look around.  Whatever. I kind of think that maybe going there would have been a better route!  I didn't get anything out of this 3d appointment other than 13 very lousy pictures.  :/
I don't mean to complain about it and sound like I wasn't happy to at least see something of baby, because we actually did!  Right when he began the ultrasound, we saw her yawning and her eyes wide open (followed by stubbornness and sleepiness!).  We were very excited to share in the moment with his parents and be able to walk away with something.  Oh and side note, we saw a very clear shot of her ear, and she's got mama's ears!  Josh's earlobes are attached while mine aren't . . . neither are hers!  Based on the one solid picture we got, I think she's going to have his nose and my lips (a little bigger than his).  But, she's definitely going to have lots of daddy's traits, which is actually something that I'm proud of! :)

I was hesitant to post any pictures of baby because I wanted to keep it something special between Josh and I (and a very select few), but hey, I might as well!  I am posting the best 2d that we got, and also one of the worst 3d (just to leave a little something to your imagination!).  :)  Enjoy! :)

(hand in her face!)

28 weeks

Yesterday was week 28. Already!  I seriously cannot believe how fast this pregnancy is going. So many women talk about how miserable they felt the entire time (and I understand that not all may have such pleasant experiences), but this has been a piece of cake. A lot of things are becoming more difficult to do like putting pants, socks, and shoes on, bending over to do things or pick things up, sleeping (that's a huge one!), but that's not enough to make me wish this was over. I'm actually pretty sad that I won't be pregnant in a little less than 3 months. Scary thought!  

Other than what was mentioned above, I haven't had any new experiences this week. I've been craving orange juice like a mother!!  As far as food cravings, nothing in particular. Fried foods and sugars are still my best friend. :)  

She has been a little acrobat this week!! I really haven't felt her move so much before. What To Expect says that this is the time that I will feel her move most because the room that she has is prime. She's big enough for those big, noticeable movements, but not too big to have the room to move. I know that her space will only become smaller and movements will only lessen. :/ But growth is a great thing!!

Tomorrow, I'm going for a 3D ultrasound and I cannot wait!!  I'm hoping that she is cooperative and that we get great pictures.  I think the part that is most exciting is that I'll get to see her move. Just love that. And I am really eager to see how she's positioned so that I'll be able to start identifying body parts, although I think I've already figured it out. We'll see if I'm right tomorrow!  My guess is that she's head down, shes in fetal position, back is facing to the left and what I've been feeling most is her butt above my belly button and her knee and foot bulging out about 1 inch below my right ribs. :) Can't wait to see her!

We also got her crib this weekend. I was so excited to spend all of this time putting it together, but we literally had that thing put together in 25 minutes. And yes, it was done correctly ;)  Just wish the fun lasted longer than that!  Now, we just have to wait until the shower (in less than 3 weeks!!) to begin filling her room and see what we can buy. That's going to be the best part!  

Here's to week 29 in progress!!  Already almost to week 30!!

Dreams of a dreamer

My husband, Josh is a dreamer, that's for sure. He talks about such optimistic, hopeful things. According to him, he will have his own construction business, possibly a software engineering business, we will be millionaires, our house will be paid off in the next 10 years, we will move to Tennessee and own lots of land with lots of animals and our dream log home.
I love hearing his dreams, though I have a very hard time taking him serious some times.

Me?  Ha, we'll when it comes to big dreams, I'm pretty pessimistic.  In my mind, we're lucky to have good jobs, we are lucky to have a home to call our own, let alone making enormous mortgage payments on it each month, and becoming millionaires? Ha! Only if we won the lottery.

The other evening, Josh and I were discussing his dreams and I asked him  Babe, what makes you sooo optimistic and me so opposite?  His answer was quite humbling, actually. He reminded me that dreams are what keeps us living, what gives us more motivation for the day. He told me "yeah, I probably won't ever get my dream motorcycle, if my job continues doing this well, I wouldn't leave to start my own company. But it gives me hope. Us hope."  Of course, then I began crying AND felt like a jerk. I began apologizing for being so horribly opposite of him and telling him that I love hearing his dreams and even if I might not take him seriously all of the time, I need to hear them because they carry me through, too. I love knowing that my Husband does not want to settle with where we are now. Yes, we are blessed and I praise God for what we have,  but it's so comforting knowing that my Husband wants more for us and is willing to work harder for something even though it may never come to reality.

Then he reminded me that one of my jobs as a Mother will be Dreamer.  Josh reminded me that perhaps one of my hardest lessons to learn as a mom will be dreaming ... and for baby's sake.  He said that if one day our baby girl wants to fly, I better sit down with her, build the both of us wings and try flying. I cannot tell her that it is impossible.  She needs her mama to be her support and when she shares a dream, I cannot let her down.

Talking with Josh about dreams just opened my eyes to a different part of life. Yeah, maybe more than half of dreams remain only that, but if we don't at least have dreams, then what do we have.  So, I'm going to hold my Husband's hand and support him and his dreams. I'm going to pray that God shows us favor and have faith that it will become bigger than our wildest imagination.  It's my job as a a Believer, a Wife, and a soon-to-be mama.

27 weeks

I know I'm a bit behind on the weekly update, but better late than never, right?  It'll be a shorter one because I need to hit the hay!  Stayed up all night waiting for the election results . . .

I mentioned last week that I was due to go in for the glucose screening during the 27th week.  It wasn't that bad at all!  I thought it was going to be much worse, but it was just some nasty ol' fruit punch.  They haven't called me yet about any negative results, so I'm hoping that's a good sign!  I would really hate to change my "diet."  Oh, and speaking of diet . . .

Yeah, definitely didn't make it 36 hours with no sugar.  I don't know what I was thinking by making such a goal the day before Halloween!  There were too many cookies, candy, cupcakes, etc. around for me to resist.  Oye.  But, I have learned to be more conscious about it all and know when enough is enough (except for the trip to get ice cream after the doctor's appointment. shh!).

This week I thought I would be feeling her kicking in my ribs since she felt so close last week, but nothing yet.  She just feels way higher than she ever has.  Watching my belly move has definitely been my new favorite past time.

Oh and while at the doctor's office, I did something I swore I'd never do: make an appointment for a 3d ultrasound.  I just couldn't help it!  I want to meet her now, so this will be the closest we can get to that!  Josh and I invited our moms, so it will be us four seeing baby for the first time! :)

26 weeks

Yesterday my bump turned 26 weeks!  This is the last week of my second trimester, so I'm going to enjoy it!  :)  I hear it only gets worse from here on out . . . yikes!  But, in the end, I'll have my baby to celebrate! :)

Today, Josh and I had to go buy me a new jacket and workout shirts because this little mama cannot stay warm or workout with what I have!  I was pretty excited because I thought I'd be walking around with a stiff-looking pea coat that just isn't me, but the store had heavier sweater-feeling jackets, so I got one of those!  Then, I scored some workout shirts on clearance; I'm just hoping they'll fit me long enough (no pun intended)!  I'm actually getting tired of growing out of my clothes.  My shirts are becoming too tight and too short.  My pants aren't liking the size of my butt, and the paneling on the pants is getting uncomfortable, but after spending so much money on clothing that I can't wear after baby, I find it hard to justify spending so much money on it all!  

Speaking of clothes getting too tight, I really need to chill out on giving into my cravings.  I think third trimester is going to bring a huge, ginormous, ugly sweet tooth.  I cannot and I do mean cannot turn down sweets right now.  Psh even at the chiropractor this morning, he had a bowl of candy and I took 2 tootsie rolls and I don't even like those! 

(Oooo I just got an idea . . . I think this week I am going to go on a sugar fast.  YES!  Brilliant.  I'm going to fool the OB at my glucose screening.  And maybe the scale might adjust a little, too.  Sweet, so from this point on, no sugar until next Monday.  You're my witness, kay?)  I'll let you know how that goes next update! ;)

Changes that this week has brought on:

• Baby hasn't been as active.  I'm thinking maybe a growth spurt?  I'm definitely feeling the 10 kicks/2 hours, but usually she's a lot more active than that.  
• My hips are becoming more and more painful.  I've been asking Josh if we can get one of those little hand-held massagers (that look like a brush, but with nubs instead), but the places we've checked don't have any and I keep forgetting to check more places.  That's my goal this week.  It is sooo painful sleeping on my sides.
• I thought that maybe I was beginning to feel Braxton Hicks contractions more often, but I think she's just pushing closer to the front of the uterus, rather than behind.  
• My bladder will not empty completely!!  As soon as I leave the bathroom, I have to turn back around and do it all over again!  I think that it's because she's on my bladder, so it's not allowing it to empty.  I've tried it all, the rocking back and forth, totally relaxing my muscles, etc., but I guess she just wants her pillow!
• I'm going to start wearing "Udder Covers."  I'm sure no other explanation is needed.  Baby girl is definitely not going to be malnourished, that's for sure! ;)

As I mentioned, next Monday is my glucose screening, so I will post about that appointment like it's the 27th week (even though it will be the first day of week 28).  Not going to lie, I'm scared to get on the scale!  All I have to say is that I'm glad I lost 30 pounds before getting pregnant.  Yikes!  

Well, here's to the end of second trimester!  Can't believe how fast time is flying!

through 25 weeks

I've really wanted to be able to document my pregnancy week-by-week because I think it would be interesting to go back in the future and compare!  Obviously, this blog is just getting rolling, so I am just going to recap what I remember so far. :)  This is going to be a longer post since there's lots of catching up to do!

First Trimester:  Well, we found out that we were pregnant on May 30.  I thought that I was 8 weeks at that point, but after going to the doctor to get everything confirmed, I was only 5 weeks, 5 days (according to LMP and HCG levels).  Ah!  I thought I was going to get 3 weeks for "free!"
 I was like oh yeah, I'm feeling great!  No morning sickness, etc.  The day that I turned 6 weeks, I woke up feeling like crap.  I remember telling Josh that I didn't think I would be able to make it to Church that morning because I literally felt like throwing up.  I muscled through it, got ready, even curled my hair, but just ended up crying (maybe that was a sign there!) that I wasn't going to make it through without throwing up.  Aaand later that day, of course I got sick.  And it lasted the whole day.  The next day, I woke up sick, went into work and was unable to keep anything down.  I had to call my boss (Krissy) because I felt sooo horrible and couldn't stay out of the bathroom.  But on top of that, I felt horrible that I called her to come in because it wasn't like there was going to be an end to this.  I just need to learn how to cope with this new-found problem of mine.  When she got there, I whispered to her there's actually a reason for this.  I had to tell her.  How in the heck was I going to have "food poisoning" for weeks upon weeks.  Plus she's the one person that I wanted to tell (I call her my BFF).  And it's a good thing I did because I woke up Tuesday feeling even worse than the day before!  I swore that I had to have been dehydrated or something more serious was involved.  I couldn't keep a single drop of water down.  I tried everything from ginger ale, to crackers, to ice cubes.  Nothing.  So I called my OB and she prescribed me a medication that was supposedly going to help.  Thank the Lord that it actually did!
The next week, I was able to get in for an ultrasound to make sure things were looking good (and boy, did I know they were!  This little kidney bean was killin' mama!).  She was measuring to the day.  At that point, I was 6 weeks, 6 days.  We weren't able to hear the heartbeat since it was still too early, but we were able to see the itty bitty thing beating away.  What an amazing feeling!  The next day, we told his family.  We brought the images and were waiting for that perfect moment to share.  While we were all sitting outside after giving dad his Father's Day gift, we ran in the house, grabbed the images and handed one to each his mom and dad.  All his mom could say was, "what is this?!  What is this?!"  She had been very patiently waiting on grandbabies since the honeymoon, so I knew she wouldn't be able to contain herself.  When she realized that was her little grandbaby in there, she jumped from her chair and ran around the backyard yelling "my grandbaby!! My grandbaby!!" with tears streaming down her face.  It was definitely a priceless moment.

Fast forward to the rest of the first trimester and the only way to sum it up was morning sickness (lost 5 pounds), major fatigue, and an "off" feeling.  I remember fearing that this baby would steal Josh from me, that I wouldn't be able to love it enough, I wouldn't be a good enough mom to her, etc.  Krissy kept reminding me "you're pregnant, your hormones are out of whack, don't trust how you feel."  And honestly that was a very helpful piece of advice!
Oh, and cravings!  I would say that the first trimester, I craved popsicles and ice cubes.  Yum!!

Second Trimester:  Of course, I'm on the tail-end of this one now!  So crazy!  This is when I began feeling pregnant.  The stomach became bloated (and eventually nice and round!) and my bras became more snug.  Josh bought me a fetal doppler to use at home and rid of any worries that I had (from reading too many forums!).  I listened to her heartbeat every night.  It seemed to stay around 152-145.  I began feeling her move at 16 weeks and would describe the movements as swishing; not necessarily the feeling of popcorn popping or butterflies, though I was still unsure if that's what I was feeling.  At 20 weeks is when we found out that we were having a little girl! :)  The ultrasound pictures from that appointment made me the happiest!  They were so very clear and she looked absolutely perfect.
I still have morning sickness.  Crazy, I know.  I have also began having major indigestion.  I stopped taking Tums because I hear so much calcium increases your risk in kidney stones (I was taking the max. amount in 24 hours and they only worked for like 10 minutes) and I am NOT wanting to deal with that while pregnant! I splurged and bought some low dose Zantac that has worked like a charm. :)  Fortunately, I do not have to take this every day.  So far, I am up 11 pounds from my base weight and don't have stretch marks yet (YES!).  A friend of mine suggested this little concoction of Palmer's cocoa butter and Gold Bond ultimate healing, which I have been using about twice a day.  Hopefully it continues to help!  As far as her kicking, she is one active little girl but I think she may be a shy one.  Every. Single. Time I touch or look at my belly when she moves, she stops.  She is most active at about 5 a.m., after meals, and about 9:00 p.m.  I noticed today that she is also beginning to make her way near my ribs.  She's still about half an inch away, so I'm guessing in the next week or so, I'll have toes sticking between them!  I wouldn't trade any of this for the world, though.  I absolutely LOVE being pregnant!  The only complaint I have is not being able to sleep on my back and how difficult it is to wrestle with an army of pillows when I want to switch sides at night.  Not to mention the every-2-hour bathroom trip.
Next weekend I go in for my 27 week appointment and this is also when I'll be doing the glucose test.  I know that this is optional, but because this is my first pregnancy, I am opting in because I want to make sure that my pregnant body is responding to sugar the way that it is supposed to.  If I pass, I plan to opt out in the future.  Beginning this weekend, I am going to do weekly posts about what has been going on with me and the little one (oh, and a picture, too!).
I have attached several photos.  They are only bi-weekly because I didn't really think it was too necessary to do every single week until I got a little bigger . . . like now! :)

girls and His plan

Before going into the appointment and finding out the gender of baby, I swore up and down I didn't care what we were having; and I truly meant it! I thought it'd be great to have a boy because Daddy would have someone to teach baseball, do dirty work with, and our future kids would have a nice strong brother to watch over them. Not to mention, I really wanted to go buy cute little red Toms and little blue jeans after finding out.  If it was a girl, that would be fantastic because I couldn't wait to use her name, be the one that she looks up to, and buy her ruffles and lace.  And I wouldn't have to deal with the hassle of circumcision quite yet.

While I was lying there getting the ultrasound and the woman was pointing out all of the tiny body parts like her brain, her femur, hands, feet, heart, etc., all I could do was cry.  Cry because I was so full of joy that God had blessed this tiny baby with everything it was supposed to have to live outside of my womb.  Cry because God had blessed Josh and I with a baby.  A baby!  Something that we prayed for during our wedding, and He has seen that through.  When the ultrasound tech told us that we were having a girl, the future zipped before my eyes faster than I thought possible.  And then I became scared . . .

When we left the appointment, a tiny sliver of sadness was over me.  We planned on going shopping for lots of clothes and girly things for her, but I wasn't even interested because my fear overcame my blessing.  What was I so afraid of?  I was so afraid that I was going to be partially responsible for raising a daughter.  I am going to have to be the one that teaches her self-confidence, the importance of purity, the importance of putting God before all else, and that's not even the tip of the iceberg.  How was I, a girl that has insecurities, lacks a strong, healthy relationship with God, and didn't even know the importance of purity until finding my Husband, supposed to teach this little girl those values?  On top of all of that, I only have experience with my nephew.  I know how to play with a boy, tell him jokes that he would think are funny, and find the way to be his "most favoritist ti-ti."  I know nothing about playing with little girls!  What do they think is funny?  Will she even like me or will she confide in her Aunts or other women in her life?  See what I mean about insecurities?

But then, God reminded me of something.  God reminded me that I have a past.  He has given me an abundant future.  I have a testimony.  I have Him and He needs me to raise up another believer that loves Him with all that she can.  Darn right I'm not perfect and I've got lots of room to grow, but I know that God has blessed me with a daughter for those exact reasons.  God has also blessed our daughter with the most amazing father anyone could possibly ask for.  With a mommy like me and a daddy like Josh, Baby Girl is going to grow, with our help and God's guidance, to be the woman that God has destined her to be.

And I find nothing but peace in that now.

choices . . . or lack thereof

I quickly jumped onto the computer in hopes of finding a holistic pediatrician in my area and it has been everything but!  I have been researching quite a bit of information on vaccines, immunizations, etc. for Baby when she gets here.  I figured that if I'm not going to be prepared, I'll just cave in to whatever my OB recommends or tells me is best and I'll probably end up just going with it.  Not something that I want to do.  I would surely hate to walk out of Baby's first appointment, headless, because I refused a vaccine.

Ideally, I'd like a pediatrician that will respect my wishes and allow me to pass on certain vaccines if I wanted to.  I don't know how realistic this is in the medical world, but after a little research, it's definitely possible to find a doctor that fits that description.  It seems like all of the holistic pediatric offices are in Chicago or a suburb of, and I'm not sure it would be wise to have a doctor that far (just in case of an emergency).  What's a mama to do?!  I have asked a few friends for their opinions that are on the same page and am hoping I can get an answer.  Otherwise, I'm just going to end up taking her to an elder in an Amish community.  Kidding.

But I need some advice and insight on this!  I want to learn the dangers of what I may potentially putting into my daughter's body.  Help!

New Beginnings

I love new beginnings.  I love (and hate) the uncertainty of what's ahead.  It's makes me feel like everyday living is risk-taking and it gives my heart and the butterflies in my tummy an added workout.    

My life has definitely changed significantly in the last year in ways that I could never have imagined.  Josh and I got married last July, we purchased a home, bought a puppy, and learned we are expecting.  Big things!  See what I mean about uncertainty?  Scary, but at the same time it gives me an adrenaline and scares the heck out of me.  Getting married? Eh, the day of, piece of cake (no pun intended); the journey of, fun, exciting, scary, and a mystery.  Buying a house? Duh, it means sleepovers every night with my husband, having people over without curfews, and no money to "just walk around" Target.  Buying a puppy means poopy floors and chewed up tupperware.  Learning that we are expecting, though has been probably the biggest, scariest, most joy-filled time of my life, thus far.  I have no doubt that Josh and I are going to be the best parents that we can possibly be and I'm looking forward to what the future brings with our new life. :)

This blog is going to capture the journey ahead: the good, the bad, the uncertain, scary, joy-filled moments that I plan to treasure and reflect back on one day.