how to be the perfect Wife

After Josh and I got married, I was so eager to go out and buy a new marriage devotional; one that we could do together before going to bed at night ... all before we cuddled and prayed and talked about our happily ever after.  But here's what took me some time to figure out: 1) Josh hates doing a structured devotional.  He would rather read his Bible on his own without being guided by someone else's viewpoints, and 2) the "perfect" marriage devotional just didn't exist.  Okay, so Josh didn't like doing devotionals, that's fine, I'd just search high and low for a good "how to be a godly Wife" book.  I'm still on the search for that as well.

When I first found out that I was pregnant, I downloaded a few different apps on my iPhone, one of which was the What to Expect app. What I enjoyed most about my WTE app was that there was a forum where you could converse with other expectant moms about just about anything.  You kind of "got to know" other moms who posted often.  If you had any parenting questions or wanted to know if any other mom was feeling their baby kick so soon, if horrible indigestion was "normal," along with many other topics, that was the place to go.  One thing that Josh and I argued most about while I was pregnant was that I was so hooked on these forums.  I would tell him another mom said that this isn't normal or someone lost their baby and now I'm so worried about ours.  He wouldn't have minded that I was interested in these forums if they didn't affect me ... but they did.  I worried more, thought this or that wasn't normal, questioned every single thing that I felt (or didn't) and questioned different parenting techniques that he and I already discussed.  Let me just say that I absolutely loved being pregnant and I cannot wait to go through it all again but I think that I could have enjoyed my pregnancy and the few days after birth more had I leaned more on Josh and put my faith in God throughout the whole thing rather than living it all through a message board.  Now, that's not to say that I didn't trust in God and lean on Josh because trust me, I would have been a mess if I didn't!

Now that I'm a Mom and Wife, I want to be sure that I can be the most perfect that I can.  I don't want to make big, scary mistakes!
While Josh and I were talking over dinner a few nights ago, he gently reminded me of something: that book and those resources that I've been seeking answers for has been under my nose all along.  I needed to just stop and remember that if I just tune into God and listen to His voice, He would show me how to be the "perfect" Mom and Wife.  That what other women have found to work in their marriage will not work in ours because God has designed us differently ... just as He has designed me and Keziah's relationship to be unique.  I only need to tune in and listen to God and everything else will smoothly and perfectly fall into place. I don't think I'll ever nail the whole "perfect Mom and Wife" title, but God will definitely guide me as long as I'm seeking Him!

the dreaded next step

Since day one, Keziah has been sleeping in her rock 'n play sleeper in our room.  I wouldn't have it any other way, honestly.  I love that I can watch her sleep, hear her right away when she needs me, and since I'm nursing, it makes it easier for me to just be able to grab her when she's hungry at 2am and have her right there.  I was pretty nervous about being able to switch her to her crib when the time came for several different reasons.  The rock 'n play sleeper is slightly inclined, unlike the crib.  The RNP also gives her a sense of security because it's a smaller, tighter spot for her and she feels snuggled, unlike with the crib.  Oh, and maybe the fact that the crib isn't in the same room as me makes me want to cry!  I've tried taking itty, bitty baby steps with her in our room.  I'll explain: I keep the RNP right next to the bed.  Like, if it's not touching the side of my bed, she's too far.  Sooo, I've tried inching her back.  Didn't work.  She just wasn't close enough!

She will be 6 months old next week, so I figured that maybe I should at least try getting her used to the crib.  I knew that in order for me to try, I'd need to be mentally prepared.  I wanted to have her room a little bit more put together so that she wouldn't feel so "cold" and deserted.  Or maybe abandoned.  That's a more accurate description of what I think she'd feel when she woke up and mama wasn't there.  I wanted to get the shades perfect so that I would let in enough light without it being too dark.  When I woke this morning, I was not prepared.  Keziah started rubbing her eyes, it was time for her to eat, so I figured eh why not? I took everything out of her crib, set up the baby monitor, grabbed my baby and started our naptime routine.

After she was asleep for 10 minutes, I slowly crept with Keziah in my arms, careful not to wake her before we reached our dreaded destination.  I set the Boppy pillow in her crib so that she would feel somewhat snug around her legs, dropped her blanket in and slowly lowered her in.  Her arms flailed, her eyes opened wide and a big smile came upon her face.  I was a strong mama; I gently caressed her cheek and turned and walked out.  As I quietly watched from outside of her bedroom door, my heart wanted to pull me back in there and snuggle her tightly in my arms and never return.  But instead, I watched her play with her feet, roll around, and talk to herself.  Within 8 minutes, she found a comfortable position and was out.  Could this be true?  Is she really asleep?  All of the worrying and dreading of this day and this is all?  

As I type this, I am watching her roll around in her crib, not crying for her mama (yet).  I want to leave her there until she gets a little antsy because I want her to become familiar with this new environment.  My plan is not to put her in there for nights yet; I want to only do naps for now.  When we've mastered our crib naps, I'll move to that 3-hour stretch of sleep in the morning before she awakes for the day.  Then, slowly work our way backwards with the beginning of her night, at 9 p.m., starting in her crib through the whole night.  I'm in no rush.  The weight limit for the RNP is 25 pounds, so as long as we've been successful before then, we're golden.    :)

Oh, and I thought I should add that she is now asleep again.  She's going on 1-hour in her crib so far.  This is actually easier than I thought it might be ... easier than we thought it might be.

What a Mama needs

It's been quite a while since I've posted on here and I definitely regret that. Ideally, I would have loved to blog from day one of our family's growth, but that hasn't been the case, clearly. But, we've got lots and lots of time for that, right?!  We'll catch up, I promise!

I need to do this. A mama needs to document life's most precious moments ... and the nitty gritty along the way.  I'm hoping to run with this blog a million miles an hour, so hold tight!  Here's what I envision: me sharing my little DIYs (got lots of them!), easy recipes, tips that have made mommyhood easier (for me, anyway!), and of course lots of pictures, laughter, and maybe even tears (let's keep those limited, okay?).  I hope to help and encourage other moms along their journey in ways that I've been helped.  I want to share my joys with you and I hope that you can do the same with me!  

This is our cozy little nook, so make yourself at home!  We've got lots to share and catch up on!