the dreaded next step

Since day one, Keziah has been sleeping in her rock 'n play sleeper in our room.  I wouldn't have it any other way, honestly.  I love that I can watch her sleep, hear her right away when she needs me, and since I'm nursing, it makes it easier for me to just be able to grab her when she's hungry at 2am and have her right there.  I was pretty nervous about being able to switch her to her crib when the time came for several different reasons.  The rock 'n play sleeper is slightly inclined, unlike the crib.  The RNP also gives her a sense of security because it's a smaller, tighter spot for her and she feels snuggled, unlike with the crib.  Oh, and maybe the fact that the crib isn't in the same room as me makes me want to cry!  I've tried taking itty, bitty baby steps with her in our room.  I'll explain: I keep the RNP right next to the bed.  Like, if it's not touching the side of my bed, she's too far.  Sooo, I've tried inching her back.  Didn't work.  She just wasn't close enough!

She will be 6 months old next week, so I figured that maybe I should at least try getting her used to the crib.  I knew that in order for me to try, I'd need to be mentally prepared.  I wanted to have her room a little bit more put together so that she wouldn't feel so "cold" and deserted.  Or maybe abandoned.  That's a more accurate description of what I think she'd feel when she woke up and mama wasn't there.  I wanted to get the shades perfect so that I would let in enough light without it being too dark.  When I woke this morning, I was not prepared.  Keziah started rubbing her eyes, it was time for her to eat, so I figured eh why not? I took everything out of her crib, set up the baby monitor, grabbed my baby and started our naptime routine.

After she was asleep for 10 minutes, I slowly crept with Keziah in my arms, careful not to wake her before we reached our dreaded destination.  I set the Boppy pillow in her crib so that she would feel somewhat snug around her legs, dropped her blanket in and slowly lowered her in.  Her arms flailed, her eyes opened wide and a big smile came upon her face.  I was a strong mama; I gently caressed her cheek and turned and walked out.  As I quietly watched from outside of her bedroom door, my heart wanted to pull me back in there and snuggle her tightly in my arms and never return.  But instead, I watched her play with her feet, roll around, and talk to herself.  Within 8 minutes, she found a comfortable position and was out.  Could this be true?  Is she really asleep?  All of the worrying and dreading of this day and this is all?  

As I type this, I am watching her roll around in her crib, not crying for her mama (yet).  I want to leave her there until she gets a little antsy because I want her to become familiar with this new environment.  My plan is not to put her in there for nights yet; I want to only do naps for now.  When we've mastered our crib naps, I'll move to that 3-hour stretch of sleep in the morning before she awakes for the day.  Then, slowly work our way backwards with the beginning of her night, at 9 p.m., starting in her crib through the whole night.  I'm in no rush.  The weight limit for the RNP is 25 pounds, so as long as we've been successful before then, we're golden.    :)

Oh, and I thought I should add that she is now asleep again.  She's going on 1-hour in her crib so far.  This is actually easier than I thought it might be ... easier than we thought it might be.