Last night, we made the big move. I knew all day that it would be "the night" and just had a sick, unease feeling in my stomach about it. Her room isn't even finished, after all. The walls seem bare, the room feels lonely. I begged my husband for us to go buy her a sound machine with a night light of some sort on it. I did a little research on which had the best reviews and we found it at Babies R Us. We moved the rocking chair and ottoman out of our room and into hers. I put all of her books on her shelf in the closet (just to fill the room!). When her bed time was drawing near, I felt like throwing up. I had my husband dress her for bed while I walked in circles around her room, praying for her, for me, (all of course while I was crying) and afte, he found me in her room, sitting in the rocking chair (sobbing). I was not ready for the move. At all. But after seeking advice from other moms, it came to me that the RNP sleeper was not a suitable place for her to be. She needed to stretch her legs, practice her new skills (rolling over, playing with her feet, etc.) and I was disabling her from doing that. She was ready, she just didn't know it yet ... I'd never given her the chance to experience something different.
My husband kissed me and Keziah good night, gently told me "babe, she'll be fine" and closed her door. I set her sound machine on and began our usual night time routine. She ate, fell asleep, I burped her, and while I rocked and snuggled her, I was looking up sleep training methods on my phone. It took but 2 minutes of reading before I confirmed that "crying it out" was not for us. If I felt as horrible about leaving her alone, I could only imagine how she must have felt. I did however, come across a "no tears" method. Sounded like something that I might be interested in, so I clicked it and began reading. While I don't know if I followed it verbatim (because I only skimmed), here's what our night looked like:
After our usual night routine, I laid her in her crib and that was that. I walked out of her room, left the door cracked and went into our room. End of story. Ha, yeah right. That'd be glorious ...
An hour later, our dog Charlie made his nosy way into her room and began whining at the side of her crib, waking her up. She began screaming and crying, so I ran in, scooped her up, and calmed her down. As soon as she was calm, I laid her down again and rubbed her tummy. She cried (and not a wahwah way, but a WAAAHWAAAH way), I picked her up again, calmed her, laid her down and rubbed her tummy. Repeat that about 4 more times. Then, a miracle happened. When I laid her down the last time, while I rubbed her tummy, she settled in. She grabbed her blanket, put her hands behind her head, and closed her eyes. I crept out quietly and watched her for a few minutes on the monitor. She slept for 4 hours. 4 hours! I heard her stirring on the monitor at about 3:45, so I went in, fed her, and laid her back down. No arguing, no fussing. She went right to sleep. This time, slept for 5 hours!
Here's my take on it all. I don't have a problem with nursing her until she falls asleep. I don't have a problem with her using me as a pacifier ... that's what I'm here to do. Comfort her! With me picking her up immediately when she cries, I was showing her that Mama's here; I'll comfort her and wanted to show her that, but also wanted to make a point in showing that when she lays down, it's time for sleep. She knows how to soothe herself to sleep, I've watched her time and time before, so that's not the issue. She didn't need help getting to sleep, she wanted to know that I was there. Last night, I saw her wake up for about 3 minutes, move around and fall back asleep on her own. She knows how to do it. She did it. We did it. Now, I'm only curious to see how tonight is going to go. Gulp.
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