weight struggles

I am so excited to blog tonight because I'm blogging from a brand new (to us), beautifully painted and stained, grown up computer desk!  A few months back, I scored a huge, solid wood desk for free off of a garage sale group on Facebook and Josh and I finally had time to redo it.  It's gorgeous and I'll show it to you some time soon ... hopefully tomorrow!! :)

I don't think I've ever blogged about it.  You know, that big, fat, ugly topic that all women hate to discuss, yet love to cry and complain about.  Yup, our weight.  Weight has always been a big struggle for me.  Not that I've always had lots of weight to lose, but I've been conscience about it for quite a while.  I've pretty much tried it all: Weight Watchers (lost 10 pounds in 3 months), watching calories (lost nothing), Paleo (lost 30 pounds in 5 months), and most recently, Trim Healthy Mama (lost 6 pounds in 2 weeks).  I stuck with Paleo the longest and thought it was very, very restrictive, it was definitely my favorite.  I felt my best, looked my best, and then BAM!!! I got pregnant ... my hormones, morning sickness, cravings, and bodily changes all got the best (err worst?) of me.  I gained each of those 30 pounds + 7 by the end of my pregnancy and guess what?  I haven't lost anything since!  Sure, I have maybe lost the 7 pounds, 2 ounces plus a tad bit of water weight since having Keziah, but not an ounce more.  I've been blaming it on the breast feeding (and I honestly do feel like that plays a big part in it), but I am pretty sure there's more to the picture than that (like, maybe the fact that my stomach is a bottomless pit and Josh has to keep up with me when it comes to eating).  I've gone back and forth with Oh, I'm going to do Paleo again or Trim Healthy Mama is best, but I think I've just finally had enough.  Josh and I want to start thinking about baby #2 very soon and I just cannot imagine gaining all of that weight again ON TOP of what I already have.  For me, that's just unacceptable, especially when I can't say that I've given it my 100% in trying.

Tomorrow, I am going to begin a 30-day "cleanse," if you will.  Pretty much just strict eating to detox my body and see how I feel.  I'm pretty sure that I'll feel awesome and want to give it another 30 days.  Anyone can do anything for 30 days, right?  That's where I always get messed up; thinking yes, let's do it for 1 year (like I swore to with Paleo)!!! Then I just feel all kinds of overwhelmed and like I've already failed when I didn't even give it a week!!

 I'll keep you updated on how things go, because this has to get done before trying for another baby.  It just has to.